However he is a Gannet – you know those photographs of washed up seabirds, in their decay their stomach fulls of bits and bobs – spewing forth onto the beach and mingling with the sand, bone and feathers.
– that will be Barley one day.
Though I assume he has ingested far, far, far more than I have noticed, here are things I have observed he has chewed or outright munched of late:
- Whole Mouse (threw it up on the porch)
- Whole dead squab pigeon – where did he get it?
- The crotch out of my pants (tasty?) (not with me in them – stop thinking about that you sicko)
- Dead rat in the park (took it off him in case it had been poisoned)
- A run over and desiccated badgers foot (totally let him eat that – am I a bad person?)
- Condoms – numerous (don’t look at me – I don’t have that thrilling a sex life – obviously Barley gives great head / has a boyfriend that doesn’t want to get him pregnant – they come out the other end – much to my, or whoever is walking him’s (Ben) surprise. I’m over the initial shock now and am marginally impressed at how many he gets down himself – really – he has a nose for them)
- Eye Glasses (handmade – completely wrecked them – the little bugger)
- Wooden spoon
- More pants
- Mooncup (don’t know? – don’t ask)
- Box of tampons (just gave each one a little chew – enough to put them ‘out of order’)
- Fold up backpack
- Plastic wrapped gone-off sashimi from behind the bin outside the fishmongers (managed to get that off him leaving me smelling like gone off sashimi – vom)
Addendum – Just dropped Barley off to Kat’s house for the holidays – her parents suggest I put this post up as a disclaimer…